


Changing Seasons

by Kierkegarden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguity, Angst, Devil/Angel imagery, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Oral Sex, Recurring motif: Drowning, Songfic, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, technically Gellert is underage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 13:17:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12841971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kierkegarden/pseuds/Kierkegarden
Summary: His beloved Seer had told him that they would become magnificent. Not a history book would be without their names emblazoned on its pages. He had never mentioned that the names would be in different chapters.orElphias loves Albus. Albus loves Gellert. Narratives leave out the part where there are feelings between "love" and "nothing".





	Changing Seasons

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Songfic for Changing Seasons by Sea Wolf. I highly recommend checking the dates before diving into each segment, the timeline gets fucked really quickly. Enjoy!

**Winter 1896**

_I watched you sleeping and could not believe it / You and I beneath shadows on the ceiling_ _  
_ _You seem so different, so much younger than before / I'm still the imposter with my suitcase on the floor_

 

As he lay in his bunk, Albus could feel himself being watched. It was the curious gaze of a child who was putting together the workings of a mechanism that he hadn’t encountered before. He glanced up from the preparatory exams in front of him to meet those wide eyes.

 

Everything about the boy was child-like, from his round face, to his short stature and of course, that expression of wonderment reserved only for Albus. The only thing that aged him were the pock marks scarring his cheeks, giving his grey eyes a deep, restless look like one who rarely slept. Perhaps the comparison between the pair worsened the effect, for Albus was tall, lanky and somewhat ill-proportioned with sharp features and a wisp of a beard already sprouting on his chin.

 

Presently, he smiled at his friend from behind a mountain of paperwork. “Shouldn’t you be studying too, Elphias?”

 

Elphias flopped lazily down on the top bunk in response. “I’m rather bogged down without the extra work. I was thinking a walk would clear my head, fancy joining me?”

 

Doge’s cockney accent also left him worse-for-wear when contrasted with Albus’s immaculate diction. Gossipers called him “Elphias Dog”, or worse yet “Albus’s Dog”. That was not to say that his fellow students didn’t also view Albus as strange. Rumors spread like ivy vines about the “aloof genius” and his queer family. Albus and Elphias were content to be outcasted. If anything, it drew them closer.

 

“A walk could be nice,” the prefect set his notes down in a neat pile and hoisted himself downwards. It was just before dinnertime and a festive atmosphere in the common room. Perhaps, Albus thought, because it was nearly Christmas and most students were eager to clear their minds of the pervasive dread that accompanied the O.W.L.s. Nobody looked up as Albus and Elphias passed, setting out across the grounds to sit by the Black Lake.

 

Elphias huddled towards him, “Chilly, isn’t it?”

 

“As to be expected for this time of year.” Albus tossed a small flat rock across the water. It sunk to the bottom without skipping, “you seem unbothered by it, though.”

 

Elphias’s eyes fixed on a couple of seventh years snogging in the snow across the lake. The girl’s long white blond hair splayed across the ground like a pool of unicorn’s blood as the boy laid small kisses down her exposed neck.

 

“That boy seems to have found the key to keeping warm.” Elphias let out a deep chuckle which made Albus cringe. He could be so crude sometimes, but then, he wasn’t the one indecently suffocating a girl with his tongue.

 

Albus wrinkled his nose, “It’s hard to believe the things some people will do in public.”

He pulled his scarf over his mouth as if it could shield him from it.

 

“Come off your high horse, Albus, there’s nobody you fancy? Your standards can’t be above every fifth year girl at Hogwarts!”

 

Albus laughed softly. “Believe it or not, Elphias, I have never fancied a girl at all.”

 

“No?” Elphias’s eyes grew heavy, “not one?”

 

“I’m afraid not.”

 

Albus’s eyes opened wide as Elphias drew himself closer. His shaky hand grazed Albus’s in an awkward way, as if he was a half-literate troll deciphering what human seduction looked like from a manual. The effect was bizarre and Albus immediately interpreted it. He recoiled and, before his friend could come any closer to those odd, puckering lips, said firmly:

 

“No, you misunderstand, Elphias. I have never fancied _anybody_.”

* * *

 

**Summer 1899**

_Sometimes I feel it coming back / I feel that darkness at my back_ _  
_ _That's why I'm always rearranging / And looking forward to the seasons changing_

 

“It’s hard to believe the things people will do in public.” Albus’s tone was different, the second time he uttered the phrase. It was little more than a moan into Gellert’s neck, as the boy pressed into him. He could feel Gellert’s groin pressing hard against his belly as his hair became engulfed by the creek. His abdominal muscles ached as he held his head above the current, one moment from drowning, knowing he couldn’t hold on for much longer.

 

He launched himself forward, pushing Gellert back on the bank and held him by his wrists. He looked him over with satisfaction, like a wildcat over a rabbit, as Gellert moaned something in his native tongue. Their trousers, shirts and vests piled haphazard up the hill.

 

If Albus had believed in destiny before meeting Gellert, it had been a weak conviction. It had seemed to him as tragedy upon tragedy befell him and his family, that the price to pay for brilliance was suffering. Some deal had been made with the devil before he could object. It seemed distant, those thoughts, as this angel-headed boy below him purred to intoxicating effect and he found himself breaking every vow he had made to himself. His beloved Seer had told him that they would become magnificent. Not a history book would be without their names emblazoned on its pages. They would create a new order and shake the foundation of everything, break every boundary between the Wizarding world and the Muggle world, and scare the devil back into hell.

 

He entangled his fingers in Gellert’s curls pulling him upwards to kiss his mouth, bite his lower lip and shove him down again, trailing the tip of his tongue across his lithe chest, before Gellert took advantage of his free arms to flip Albus on his back.

 

The sand scraped bloody across his skin but he took no notice. It was rust on the edge of a great iron statue.

* * *

 

**Spring 1896**

_Outside the windows, some canyons of buildings / Some storm came down and washed away the silence_ _  
_ _Even when the roof filled up again with sunbeams / Still saw the curtains and love that seems_

 

Things had been awkward between him and Elphias for a bit after that. Thankfully, nobody else paid much attention to the state of their friendship. After a time, Albus, a master of deflection and Elphias, embarrassed to hell and back pledged an unspoken armistice of willful memory loss.

 

It helped that their O.W.L. scores had been better than expected. Lying in the dormitory, Elphias beamed, examining them for the hundredth time.

 

“Hey Albus,” he popped a ginger candy into his mouth.

 

“Yes?” Albus marked the page of his book. He had been overjoyed, if not as surprised as Elphias, at his scores. Certainly, he had achieved the highest in his year. It was no small feat.

 

Elphias flipped onto his side. “Do y’think fifth years in Wizarding Schools all over the world take placement tests to figure out what they’ll do for work?”

 

Albus thought. “Perhaps, although I do think that the O.W.L. system is restricted to Hogwarts only.” He rubbed his eyes. The tests had really taken a lot out of him. Studying, for one, was rare for Albus. Most of the time, he thought it a waste of energy.

 

Elphias looked tired as well, though his eyes fixed on his score had glazed over in a wonderment usually reserved for Albus. “I want to travel the world someday.”

 

He was quite attractive when he got like this, all wistful and enamored. Albus let his mind wander to that awkward moment, earlier that year, when Elphias had tried to kiss him. It had been clumsy and repellant and unnatural. Albus straightened. Nobody outside the family knew as much about the Dumbledores as Elphias Doge, he reckoned, but _nobody_ knew Albus’s personal secrets. He reserved those hedonistic moments for himself alone and lost in his mind, he would conjure images of himself and a slim-figured mystery boy, sometimes with the face of Elphias but usually without.

 

“Let’s travel the world together,” Albus said warmly, “once we graduate.”

 

He saw Elphias beam out of the corner of his eye. Perhaps he had said too much.

* * *

 

**Summer 1899**

_Sometimes the feeling coming back / I feel that darkness at my back_ _  
_ _That's why I'm always rearranging / And looking forward to the seasons changing_

 

He had received his first owl from Elphias that morning but only now had he made time to read it. The familiar scrawl made him smile as he ripped the envelope neatly along the crease.

 

_Dear Albus,_

 

_Firstly, before you get too worried reading the contents of my letter, I want to report that everything is alright now. I am in a hostel in Corinthia as I write this letter. I finally made it to the city of Corinth itself as our tour went rather astray and we found ourselves in the mountains for several nights. The tour guide, a local witch named Lena, is resourceful and as we found out, an excellent botanist._

 

_You might ask what we were doing in the mountains so I’ll tell you. I, Elphias Doge, have come face to face with a chimaera. We were supposed only tour the mountains for a day, but as we were hiking across the the narrow trail, we heard a great roar and before us stood this gigantic beast. I nearly became paralyzed in fear. It had the tail of a dragon, the head of a lion and the body of an incredible goat!_

 

_Lena called us all quickly into a cove and pulled from her bag some kind of root, setting it ablaze. It produced the most awful smell, worsened yet by the close quarters in the cove. She said it would repel the chimaera. She raised her wand outside the large stone walls to signal a chariot to come for our company. Her arm was nearly bitten off by the beast!_

 

_You wouldn’t believe how calmly she handled the situation. I was reminded of your talent and cool head. Damn it, Albus, I miss you._

 

_The muggle region of Corinthia seems to be undergoing construction. They are building some kind of highway for faster travel. I am feeling weary but also worldly. World-weary?_

 

_Tell Aberforth and Ariana that I miss them as well, but never as much as I miss you._

 

_Your friend,_

_Elphias_

 

Albus smiled coolly as he folded the letter and set it back into its envelope. Gellert, reclining next to him on his bed, looked up from his book. “Who was it from?”

 

Leaning his head on Gellert’s shoulder, Albus breathed him in, all campfires, dirt and a smattering of the perfume he wore behind his ears. “Nobody,” he whispered with a kiss.

 

It was the truth, in that moment.

* * *

**Autumn 1899**

_And I'm still looking forward / Oh I'm still looking forward_   
_I put on the brave face / Left some words on paper legs_  
 _Hoping that I would some day come to be / A man you always saw in me_

 

Elphias came to the funeral too, though Albus had hoped he wouldn’t. His worried eyes gazed at Albus without resentment, lip quivering as though caught on words. Albus looked at the floor. The ceremony was small, of course. Bathilda was quiet, her friends were quiet and Albus was quiet. Aberforth cried loudly and openly. As Albus raised his wand to clear the dirt for burial, Aberforth pushed him so hard, he toppled back towards the chairs. “We’re digging it by hand!” he yelled over Albus, who got up, rubbing his back, “put in some effort, you bastard! Act like you give a damn!”

 

“Ariana wouldn’t have wanted us to fight at her funeral,” the devil piloting Albus’s body said softly.

 

Aberforth punched him square in the nose. “I wish it was you,” he sobbed to no one in particular, “why’d it have to be her?”

 

When his nose had stopped bleeding, it was well after dark. Elphias had offered to heal where the fracture was and retrain the cartilage to sit evenly, but Albus had refused.

 

“I’m afraid I deserved it,” said Albus. Also, he couldn’t smell Gellert on the bed through the dried blood and mucus.

 

Elphias’s eyes brimmed with concern. Albus wished he’d be put off by the fact that he may have killed his own sister, but instead Elphias unfurled his bedroll right beside Albus’s bed. It made Albus want to ask him if he had slept beside murderers often in his travels, but instead he just looked vacantly at Elphias’s soft brown hair, which was longer than he had remembered and fit his face rather nicely.

 

“You must be tired.” said Elphias, breaking the silence.

 

Albus had become accustomed to late nights while Gellert was here. They would scourge Bathilda’s vast library for new information in their grand quest of knowledge. Sometimes, they’d walk to the graveyard because Gellert insisted that it comforted him. _“Someday,”_ he assured Albus, _“you and I will become Death’s master. So we needn’t fear him.”_ He loved the glint in Gellert’s eyes when he spoke of it.

 

“Not terribly so” Albus flicked his wand, beckoning a roll of cotton bandage towards himself, wordlessly.

 

“I missed you,” the words fell softly out of Elphias’s mouth, “I wish you could have seen some of those marvels.”

 

“Oh,” said the devil piloting Albus’s body, knowing it was not what he was supposed to say.

* * *

**Summer 1899**

_Sometimes I feel it coming back / I feel that darkness at my back_ _  
_ _That's why I'm always rearranging / And looking forward to the seasons changing_

 

He loved tracing the Hallows sign on Gellert’s back. He loved the feeling of Gellert’s chapped lips sucking little bruises into his belly. He loved the soft pulse of Gellert’s heart beneath his body. He loved the sound of Gellert speaking German. He loved the sound of Gellert speaking Magyar. He loved the sound of Gellert speaking English, softly, the way he read everything out loud under his breath. He loved when Gellert sang, how his voice sounded sweet and soft like the pussywillows that grew alongs the hills by the marshes, out of town. He loved when Gellert grabbed him, roughly by the collar and sent him spiralling down.

 

One time, Gellert had held his head below the creek and he came up spluttering, coughing, wheezing. When Albus had demanded to know why, Gellert shook his head. _“You know I wasn’t going to drown you.”_ That didn’t stop Albus from fucking him harder than ever before when the sun had set. _“Don’t do it again.”_ he snarled. He loved Gellert’s tongue softly lapping at the tip of his cock, searching for forgiveness.

 

When morning came and dust danced down in front of the window, like a halo around the blond boy’s sleeping face, Albus reckoned he loved Gellert too.

 

He put the third letter from Elphias in the top drawer unopened.

* * *

**Winter 1941**

_To the season's changing / To the season's changing_   
_To the season's changing / To the season's changing_ _  
_ And I'm still looking forward / Yeah I'm still looking forward

 

“Albus, please, listen to me.” Elphias still hadn’t taken a sip of his butterbeer, “you know him. I don’t know how well you know him but you knew him before he was the Dark Lord. You have to be able to do something.”

 

Albus fiddled with his collar. It had been a few years since he had seen Elphias last. His friend’s hair was already blossoming white and the pock-marks below his eyes looked worse than ever. Or perhaps it was a true lack of sleep that plagued him. He wore a dingy blue hat and an old set of black robes.

 

“Elphias, I’m a teacher not an auror.” Albus replied tiredly, gently. He surprised himself by how old he sounded. It was his standard reply whenever anyone brought up Gellert. He supposed Elphias was as good as anyone, now.

 

“You’re not just any teacher. You’re brilliant, Albus. I reckon you’re the best wizard of our time and you _know_ him. If there’s anyone who can take down Grindelwald, it’s you. Look at me, Albus, I’m daft old Elphias Doge and even I know that.”

 

His eyes were pleading, sincere, earnest but warm. Albus had missed him. He had truly missed him.

 

“Elphias, I am halfway through the school year at Hogwarts. I can’t leave on some _excursion - ”_

 

“There won’t be a Hogwarts if you can’t tear yourself away from it. The Headmaster will find a substitute.” Elphias grasped Albus’s hands before he could dodge it, “ _Please_ , Albus.”

 

The touch bothered him a bit. Gellert had been overly physical as well, but that was about where the similarities between the two ended. Albus usually reserved his own hands for curt shakes and making love. This urgent touch that was somewhere in-between left him feeling disquieted,

 

“I apologize, Elphias, but I have made up my mind. I will leave this in the very capable hands of our aurors.”

 

The other man withdrew his hands and seemed to grow a shade paler. He murmured something beneath his breath. Albus didn’t catch it, but it still made him shudder. He supposed it didn’t matter what Elphias had said and busied himself by playing with his cuff link.

 

At length, Elphias spoke quietly.

 

“I love you -- I used to love you -- Albus.”

 

He could feel the devil sweeping back into him like the he was eighteen, drowning in the creek by his house in Godric’s Hollow. “Me too,” it said, without blinking an eye.


End file.
